


29 hours

by PlumeBluue



Category: Humans (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Leotilda, Mention of Death, Non-Explicit Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-13 10:49:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4519023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlumeBluue/pseuds/PlumeBluue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Max is broken, and it seems that there is nothing that can be done to save him. At least, for the first two couple of hours.<br/>Then Mattie opens her mouth, and if it looks like she should have kept it close for the first two seconds that it takes to Leo to attack her with a “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”, the events following her declaration prove them both wrong.<br/>“It might be possible – “ Leo starts, but remains silent as he starts typing at full speed.<br/>“What?”<br/>He doesn’t answer.<br/>“Leo!” Mia, Niska and Mattie say at once.<br/>He lets out a long, exasperated sigh.<br/>“We would have to – to stay for a while. It’s going to take a lot of power, and we can’t have enough of it if we’re on the run.”<br/> <br/>_______</p><p>The Elsters remain at the Hawkin's for a while. Days suddenly turn into a long succession of lines and coding and the rewriting of life itself, but when night comes, they don't really need that much sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Now I would like to give a thousand kudos to my wonderful beta Pennndragon (tumbr username) who's been kind enough to correct 12 pages overnight (seriously, I have no idea how you managed to do that).  
> I think this fic will probably be three chapters long, or maybe two, depends on the characters and how cooperative they will be :)  
> English is not my mothertongue, therefore I apologize if my style is a bit awkward, I suppose I'll just have to keep writing until I become as autonomous in English than French ^^  
> Enjoy!

 Waking up the next morning feels like the beginning of something; it is not that different from the time they had planned on going to Disneyland. Mattie had been thirteen, Sophie was only a couple of months old and Toby was eleven. Toby and her had gone to bed in a state of excitement their parents were barely able to control. They hadn’t slept that night, vaguely accurate images of what France would be like spinning in their minds, thinking of what it would be like to meet Mickey and the others.

That night, Mattie had felt in a similar way. Thousands of what ifs had kept her awake until early morning, and when she woke her mind was buzzing in every possible direction. It is way too early, no one could possibly be awake. She usually doesn’t get up for at least thirty minutes, scrolling down her facebook feed and innumerable gifsets on tumblr, but she’s washing her face in the bathroom in no time, getting on jogging pants for the sake of decency and walking down the stairs, barely casting a glance at the guest room where Leo is still probably asleep.

Max is still lying on the table, a tiny permanent smile on his puffy lips. Mattie surprises herself by smiling back at the image, ignores the whole bunch of synths recharging on the sofa and goes to the kitchen in order to prepare herself a well deserved bowl of cereal.

“Morning.”

She almost lets out a shriek of surprise when Leo greets her from some dark corner of the room. She turns on her heels, the bottle of milk in her hands, and sees him sitting on the extra chair they always leave by the door, his computer on his knees and a vague, annoying smile on his lips. She closes the door of the fridge with a foot, maybe with more force than is necessary, and says, a bit too harshly:

“Why are you sitting there?”

He shrugs.

“‘s more confortable, that’s all.”

She raises an eyebrow, sceptical, opens the dishwasher, grabs a clean bowl and goes to the table. Apparently, Leo is less oblivious to implicit socialization than she thought because he leaves the sad chair he had set his first choice upon and sits in front of her, never leaving his eyes from the screen of his computer. Good. She wants him to feel welcome.

Silence stretches into two full minutes.

“Aren’t you hungry?” She finally asks.

He shakes his head.

“Did you sleep well?”

He barely nods.

“What are you doing?”

He looks up, clearly annoyed. Mattie replies with a tight, arrogant smile.

“Just asking.” She says innocently.

“Reading the newspaper. ”

She nods vigorously. Leo is back to not paying her attention. She shoves a spoonful of cereal in her mouth and pouts. No reaction. She sighs. Loudly. Oh, there, he’s hunching his shoulders.

She’s on the verge of breaking him when their attention turns to the living room, where a tiny, excited voice echoes, followed by a couple of different feminine voices. It will not be long before everyone is awake. She ignores the satisfied look on Leo’s face and greats her excited baby sister who’s coming their way, babbling about Niska’s hair being prettier than Mia’s. She nods at her incredible new deduction and helps her to sit on the chair, next to Leo, and starts preparing her sister’s breakfast when Mia joins them, followed by Niska, who’s harbouring a smug look, probably because of her recent capillary victory.

“Good morning, Leo.” Mia says, ruffling the hair of the sour faced grump.

He actually smiles at her.

“Hi, Mimi.”

Mattie rolls her eyes, but the disdainful taste of defeat doesn’t last long, for her little sister carries on Mattie’s job where she had left it.

“What are you doing?” She asks Leo.

“Reading the…” He looks up. Mattie’s looking at him, a bright smile on her lips, ignoring Mia’s confused look as she’s coming to help preparing breakfast. “Reading.”

“What are you reading?” Sophie asks in her angelic tone, before reaching one of her impossible pitches as she adds. “Oh! Is it a _fairytale_?”

“No.” Leo’s reply sounds like a growl.

Mia’s reaction is immediate: she turns her head and snaps at her ‘son’:

“Leo, be nice.”

Niska snorts. Leo inhales deeply. They’re going to break him. Sophie is still looking at him with her innocent, angelic eyes, but Mattie feels like two red horns could have suddenly grown on her tiny head that the result wouldn’t have been much different. She can feel pride for the little spawn growing in her chest.

“No,” Leo says in a composed, out-of-character voice. Mattie could swear that his jawbone is twitching. “It’s not a fairytale. It’s the news.”

“Why are you reading the news?”

It is Mattie’s turn to snort, and she hides her grin by taking the dishes, bowls and cups out of the dishwasher. Mia is cutting oranges in half, and her little smile means that she’s perfectly understood the situation.

“Because it’s important.”

“What is important? Has there been a murder? Oh! Oh, I know! _The economy has crashed_!”

“What the –“ Mattie starts, raising an eyebrow at her little sister. “Where did you – “

“Dad told me it’s happening.” Sophie says with a very, arrogant voice. “Very soon.”

“No, the – “ Now Leo’s looking at Mattie, then Niska, at loss for words. “No the – the economy hasn’t crashed? I mean, not yet –“

“Oh, _thank_ God!” Sophie says in an affected voice. Mattie has to admit that it is a pretty good imitation of adulthood.

Leo blinks, but Sophie isn’t done with him yet.

“Dad’s explained me everything, you know. But I didn’t understand everything, because I’m just a little girl. So he told me with my toys. I understood everything. I could show you, you know. I have a Ken, he could be you. But he’s blonde… Oh, we could pretend you’re blonde! I also have a Niska, but she has to charge, she’s a synth, you know, she’s still tired from our trip to San Francisco. Oh! I know! We could all go somewhere! I have a lot of dolls, you know. And – “

“Oh God, Soph’, leave poor Leo alone!” Laura says, grabbing the little demon from behind in order to kiss her head. “I’m sorry Leo, she’s insufferable in the morning.”

“No, it’s…”

“She’s right, you know, Leo.” Niska intervenes, an evil grin on her lips. “You should play with her. She’ll tell you _all_ about economics.”

“I’m not sure – “

Mattie and Mia exchange a knowing look, and as Laura joins the preparation, Mattie puts on the table and escapes her duties in order to make a big, dark and smelly jar of coffee. It is 6 am, and except for Fred who’s still charging in the living room and her dad, who’s probably still sleeping on the couch of their bedroom, they are all up and chatting like it’s 10 am, or more. The whole house is buzzing with energy while waiting for Max to charge (not until 11:23). It’s like waiting for Christmas.

She’s thinking of escaping the whole gathering in order to have a cigarette with her coffee when Leo leaves the room, taking his computer with him, not letting a single word – an apology, a goodbye – escape his mouth. Mattie frowns and follows him before Mia even has the time to run after him. He’s not in the living room. Fred smiles at her, eyes closed, as she passes in front of him, moving his head as she progresses towards the next room. Creepy.

She almost bumps into him in the corridor. He’s crouched over his backpack, searching for something with a frenzy that shows how uncomfortable he is. It’s his turn to be startled at her unexpected presence, and he rolls his eyes in order to show her how unwelcome she is.

Mattie’s first intention was to tell him how rude he had been, but she suddenly sees, in his composure, the same annoyance and defiance that she so often puts on her manners to hide her feelings. She bites her cheek, refrains herself from any hypocritical words that she realises would be more than unwelcome. She sighs, suddenly feeling out of place.

“Come on,” She says. “You look like you could use a smoke.”

He opens his mouth as if to tell her to piss off. He looks almost aggressive. She ignores him, makes a sign for him to follow her upstairs.

They spend the next hour on the roof of the living room that spreads from the outside of her window. Leo doesn’t know how to smoke. She mocks him a little as he coughs and coughs, a hand pressed on his side where she knows his open wound can’t cicatrise. It doesn’t take long for his expression to soften from his usual defiance. He looks tired and, Mattie knows, infinitely sad.

She’s broken him, and victory doesn’t taste good at all.

 

* * *

 

 

Max is broken, and it seems that there is nothing that can be done to save him. At least, for the first two couple of hours.

Then Mattie opens her mouth, and if it looks like she should have kept it close for the first two seconds that it takes to Leo to attack her with a “You don’t know what you’re talking about!”, the events following her declaration prove them both wrong.

“It might be possible – “ Leo starts, but remains silent as he starts typing at full speed.

“What?”

He doesn’t answer.

“Leo!” Mia, Niska and Mattie say at once.

He lets out a long, exasperated sigh.

“We would have to – to stay for a while. It’s going to take a lot of power, and we can’t have enough of it if we’re on the run.”

“Okay,” her mother says before Joe even has time to open his mouth. “That’s okay.”

“Laura – “ Mia starts, but her mother has made up her mind.

Sophie is already exploding from excitment, and Toby grabs her by the shoulder in order to keep her quiet.

“It’s okay, Mia. You can all stay. You are more than welcome in this house.” She looks at Leo then, eyebrows furring. “Tell me what you need.”

“Nothing.” Leo replies, avoiding her gaze, but the look Mia gives him makes him twitch on his seat. “Mattie’s help, and – and four more Persona USB cables.”

“Okay.” Mattie says.

“I’m going to the shop.” Joe says.

“And I’m going with you.” Toby says, probably not wanting his father to call the police one more time.

Mattie’s idea was rather simple and vague-ish, but Leo has the skills to turn it into something tangible. They both spend all afternoon coding, barely talking, only exchanging a couple of bits of information or, when it comes to Leo, instructions and help. They’re surrounded by empty cups of coffee, half eaten cakes and a dozen of empty chocolate packing. It is almost midnight when her mother presses a light kiss on her head, whispers a quiet “Good job”, and it is half past two in the morning when they finally finish their rubbish software.

All Elsters will have to connect to Leo’s computer in order to scan their entire coding, memories, feelings and additional data in order to reconstruct Max’s personality. The process will not be easy on them, as it will bring them on the verge of 0% battery – their death. Thus the need for additional wires, in order to keep them plugged while charging.

All synths and Leo have to remain, in turn, plugged and unconscious, to the software for a bit more than a day – 29 hours exactly. Mattie doesn’t know how Leo’s come up with the actual code to make it all possible – how is it possible to rewrite a whole personality with only a few hundred pages of code? – but it should apparently work.

“I will go first.” Niska says, already standing up in order to sit by the table.

“No.” Leo says. “You will need a complete 13 hours charge.”

He yawns.

“Go to sleep, both of you.” Mia says. “No one will be fully charged before tomorrow.”

Mattie yawns in turn and slowly shakes her head in approval. She’s sleep deprived and high on caffeine; her legs are weak when she stands up, and Mia is looking at her with a worried expression.

“I’m fine, Mia. Just need to sleep.”

“I’ll help you.” Leo says, reaching for her arm.

But it the end, it is Mattie that has to carry him up to his own bedroom, barely listening to the couple of sorrys he mumbles. She tucks him to bed and leaves him curled against the wall.

She doesn’t sleep. At all. Lines and lines of codes keep writing themselves before her eyes, no matter how many times she sighs, turns and turns and punches her pillow. When she opens her eyes, it is almost four. Her mouth is dry. She gets up, puts her dressing gown on but doesn’t care about tying it up, goes to the kitchen and drinks half the bottle of milk. She goes back upstairs through the hallway in order to not wake… startle them out of their charging mode.

As she passes in front of Leo’s room, she notices the door hanging ajar. Maybe she’s not closed it correctly. She doesn’t know why she does it. She takes a peek inside and immediately wishes she hadn’t. Leo is sobbing in his pillow. He’s awfully quiet; the only details that give him up are the way his shoulders twitch and his harsh, wet and muffled breathing.

She closes the door behind her and almost moans in regret. He’s probably heard her. She should have just left, left the door the way it was, ignored it. Why. Why did she have to be so curious?

And why, she wonders until dawn, didn’t she stay with him?

 

 

* * *

 

 

Mia is the first to be plugged. The whole family gathers behind Leo’s computer and nobody dares to breathe for a whole minute until Leo exhales a shaky:

“It’s working.”

Mattie wants to hug him. Instead, her mom does before hugging her, and there she goes, taking Toby and Sophie with her to drop them at school on her way to work. Joe doesn’t want to leave though, insisting on Mattie to go back to school.

“Mum told me it’s okay if I stay, and they are going to need me.”

Leo opens his mouth in order to protest – they don’t actually need her, even though she might prove herself useful – but the look Niska and Mattie cast on him makes him shut his mouth.

Joe still isn’t convinced.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” he insists.

Mattie rolls her eyes. “I know where the gun is.”

When he leaves, the others look at her, hostile, or maybe a little scared.

“It’s a water gun. That was a joke!”

Only Leo smiles. Niska keeps eyeing her all day with distrust. “Just ignore her.” Fred says. So Mattie does and settles for taking turns with Leo to check on Max’s code so they can both use the loo or eat something.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner, the Hawkins settle for a movie night, which seems to please Fred very much. Sophie dozes off after half a dozen minutes into the movie; Niska is reading something instead, Toby and her mother are discussing the development of the characters throughout the franchise and Joe doesn’t last much longer than Sophie. Mattie tries to remain focussed on the movie, she really does, but she keeps getting back on the infinite lines of code on Leo’s computer that seem to infinitely recreate themselves before getting destroyed by this mysterious force of nature that even the son of David Elster cannot completely vanquish.

She’s tired, but she’s not going to admit it, not before Leo. She, too, might fall asleep on her hand.

She does, apparently; she wakes up to Leo slowly shaking her arm. Her head has fallen on the table and she’s drooling a bit. The Hawkins have already gone to bed, she has a blanket on her shoulders – probably laid by her mother. She blinks sleepily at Leo who smiles back. It’s a sweet smile.

“We should go back to sleep. I’ve put the program on hold. We’ll resume tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry, I – I haven’t slept much lately.”

“Don’t apologize.”

He closes his laptop and stands up. He stays there, waiting for her to go upstairs with him.

They don’t talk, they brush their teeth in silence. They wish each other a good night in hushed voices but, as they’re parting, Leo hesitates, one hand up. As he reaches for her, she freezes, not really knowing what to do. He doesn’t seem to know either. His hand has stopped mid air, just before her face, and he seems to settle for the shoulder as he presses it lightly with a simple “good job”.  They part without another word.

She can’t sleep. She just can’t sleep. The feeling of the pressure on her shoulder remains, tingling, keeping all of her senses alert. All of her thoughts seem to converge in his direction, in the interminable lines of code that have now become a synonym of his person, and his touch. She can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have him touch her on other places. Her face. Her neck. Her waist. Her –

She’s thirsty. She hates insomnia. It doesn’t happen that often, only when she finds herself caught on a new obsession, new coding projects or infinite research on some random sudden interest. Those obsessions won’t leave her mind, torturing her with hours and hours of reflection on things she probably will never get an answer for. She gets up, doesn’t even remember to put on her dressing gown, doesn’t care if someone sees her wandering the house in her panties. It’s her home, after all. She shouldn’t have to care about decency.

Leo’s bedroom door remains once again ajar. She stops there, on top of the stairs, waiting, listening for any sound that might give her a clue about Leo’s state. She cannot hear a thing.

He sniffs, then. She freezes. Maybe he’s just cold. Maybe she’s paranoid. She shouldn’t be there, stand there, listen to something that personal. She should leave. She doesn’t.

She can hear him letting out a shaky, heart wrenching exhale. Her hand is on the doorknob. She shouldn’t go. It’s an invasion of his privacy. She wouldn’t have liked it.

No.

But she didn’t like it either when she had only herself and her depressing thoughts for company in the darkest of night, when sadness was the obsession she couldn’t overcome.

It is all, then, a matter of silence. She stops breathing, she prays for the door to open silently, her steps are careful as she joins the bed, sits on it, stretches out her hand towards his indistinct, curled dark form.

She must have placed her hand somewhere on his side. His own hand reaches for hers and holds it there, clenches at it. They remain in this position for a minute. He’s breathing hard, probably trying to focus his thoughts on her touch, battling against the anxiety. She almost guesses what terrors he battles at night. He only has to many options. She starts tracing patterns on the skin of his hand, hoping to soothe him, and before she knows it she’s lying next to him, her head on a forgotten pillow. His touch seems to soothe her own mind, the craving she had felt for it a bit earlier. She’s breathing a bit too fast, too. She’s still afraid he might kick her out.

He shifts in his covers, as if to look at her. She doesn’t give him time; she sneaks under the blankets and huddles close, one hand slithering over his chest, the other curling behind her own head. Her forehead is pressing against his hair and their legs tangle together. She’s suddenly violently aware of being only in her panties. She can feel the blush creeping over her face, extending to her chest, her arms, all over her body. She closes her eyes, tries only to focus on the touch of him, the way he feels, the way his breathing has suddenly stopped, as if he’s feeling it too, this ambiguous possibility hanging over them. She hopes it might take him away from this dark place, distract him, comfort him. She’s afraid of the rejection.

“Mattie –“ he breathes.

“’s okay,” she whispers against his neck. “Just – sleep.”

“Can’t.”

She can feel him trying to relax. She presses a kiss against the only skin she has at her disposition. He’s shivering. His heart beats fast, so does her own. She tries for courage, lowers her hand to the hem of his t-shirt, caresses the line of skin she finds there.

Leo’s inhale is sharp, somewhat panicked.

“It’s okay,” she repeats, “just tell me-“

“Mattie –“

“Tell me if – if you want me to stop.”

With slow, shy and out-of-practice movements, she takes care of his bulge. He breathes hard, face pressed against the pillow, and a moan escapes his mouth when she slips her hand under his pyjama pants. She takes care of him with patience and, after a while where she can finally feel the muscles of his back relax, an almost forgotten precision. His relief comes with a long, exhilarating shudder, and they both remain silent. He tries to recover his breath, and Mattie marvels at this almost forgotten feeling of power that the act of giving places in her.  

A minute, two minutes pass, and he’s slowly turning in her embrace in order to face her. She holds her breath. Facing him, feeling the heat of his gaze on her, even in the dark, brings to the situation a whole new level of reality she might not be ready to cope with yet. He holds up his hand and lays it on her cheek, his thumb tracing the line of her lower lip. She can feel it burning. She closes her eyes, uncomfortable towards the vague shades of light that try to grasp all of her attention to his blue eyes.

She can’t want that. She can feel fear, indecision building in her chest. Instead of that, of that promise that his tender caress depicts, she grabs his hand and brings it down on her as she turns the other way, pressing her own back against his chest. She guides him as he works on her own pleasure, lets him press wet, urgent kisses on her neck and the edge of her collarbone. Her orgasm is silent as always and comes with the immediate embrace of sleep.

Not once do her dreams let her forget of Leo’s embrace and firm arms around her body, and it might even be the best night of sleep she’s had in a long time.

 

* * *

 

 

Her first thought, when she wakes up, is hoping that Leo will see the events of the night as happy memories rather than something he wishes he could forget. It not only concerns her own pride but also the fear that she might have contributed, in some way, to Leo’s previous torments.

Her second thought is that the household is awaking, and that someone is walking up the stairs.

She fights for a way out of Leo’s embrace and rolls out of the bed, falling loudly on the ground and rolling again under it. She disappears entirely at the precise moment Niska comes into the room. She can feel Leo shifting nervously on the bed, probably startled at being awaken in such an original way, and also scared, just like her, at seeing the secret of their night exposed.

“It is nine o’clock and you’re still sleeping? Seriously, Leo? There are people waiting on you downstairs, people like Mia, who’s on the verge of _dying_ , and Max, who’s also, you know, _dying_!”

She lets out a heavy, exasperated sigh. There is the sound of a faint ruffle – she’s probably throwing clothes at her brother – and she finally leaves, closing the door behind her.

“Mattie?” Leo whispers almost immediately.

She rolls out of the bed and sits on the ground, feeling a bit groggy and she looks up at Leo’s sleepy face, lined with marks from the sheets.

“Oh my god,” she moans. “I don’t want to wake up that way ever again.”

He chuckles, then looks worriedly at the door.

“Do you think you’ll –“

“Yeah.” she follows his gaze. “Yeah, I guess. Don’t have much choice.”

She eyes him for a while, finds the courage not to look away when he drops his gaze back on her. The silence stretches – then they’re both giggling as silently as possible at the situation.

This single fact feels like reassurance. Maybe she hasn’t made Leo’s situation worse. Maybe she’s actually given him a permanent, happy memory. She can’t help but smile at the thought, a shy smile, and Leo returns it back.

“You should go out first.” She says. “Tell me if the passage is clear.”

“Feels like I’m on the run, even at your house,” he replies.

She winks and gets up as Leo looks out for any suspect wanderer of the Hawkins or Elster families.

 

* * *

 

 

Around 11 pm, Mia is done with her turn. She suddenly awakens in the same fashion that she had, a week ago, in the car, startling them all. Leo has quickly reverted his intention from the television to his mother and is already hugging her, making sure she’s okay. Mia is still weak at only 2% charge and she accepts Leo’s help back to the couch from which Niska gets up in order to take the vacant seat.

And it is all back to the same job. Leo refuses to sleep for a while, wants to remain in front of the computer to check on the process. There is already a significant improvement in Max’s code, some of the blanks are permanently filled, and Mattie swears that when all of this is over, she doesn’t want to look at a computer or a screening of crude, interactive code for at least a month.

Leo sends her away, insisting, in a somewhat unsure, maybe shy voice, that she hasn’t gotten any sleep for too long. Mia approves, and Fred promises that he’ll make sure Leo goes to bed later.

She falls into a sound sleep this time, only wakes up with a jolt at some ruffling behind her door and the vague feeling that she hadn’t been alone all of this time, that the door had been opened only a couple of seconds ago.

She doesn’t wait and goes for the door; Leo is quietly walking away and stops in his tracks when she whispers his name. She has no idea what time it is, nor what his intentions were, but she probably can guess, and she makes a frantic gesture to invite him in her room.

She gets under the covers and waits for him to join her; he’s slow, unsure but also precise and she’s glad she doesn’t have to wait for more of this awkward, courage building process for him to hold her against his chest.

It wouldn’t take much time for her to fall asleep again; it would maybe even be quicker than before, now that he’s here and that she doesn’t have to crave his touch. But touching, there is; he’s travelling his fingers along the length of her body, from her arm to her exposed thigh. His track is followed by her goose bumps. She can already feel his arousal against the small of her back and she does her best to take care of him as he takes care of her, the burn of their flesh lulling them both back to sleep when they’re done.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Leo rolls away from her at some point in the morning, only to disappear when Sophie opens the door and jumps on the bed, screaming some nonsense she cannot possibly understand only a couple of seconds after waking up.

“We’re going shopping!” She screeches, bouncing up and down.

Mattie winces at the idea of poor Leo enduring the attack of the mattress and she reaches for her sister in order to calm her.

“What’s going on?”

“Mum’s taking us shopping! She wants to buy things for Mia and the others, and she told me I could have a new toy!”

“Don’t you have school?” She manages to mumble.

“It’s Saturday, silly! Now come on! _Come onnn_! Mum said we weren’t leaving before you’re ready. Leo is coming too, you know! Mia said that he has to go outside. I think I’ll ask for a new Ken! With brown hair! Just like him! Come on!”

Mattie says that yes, she’ll come, now get out of there, and Sophie’s out running in the corridor like a little tornado. She lets out a heavy sigh when she’s gone and waits for Leo to get out of his hiding place.

“This is turning into a habit, you know,” she says as his ruffled hair emerges from the depths her bed. “I feel like I’m in a movie.”

“Don’t let it get into your head.” he replies, but he seems distracted.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just – I don’t think it’ll be safe if I go with you.”

Mattie shrugs.

“Then don’t.”

He looks at her, doesn’t reply.

They escape the bedroom in silence; she takes a quick, cold shower in order to get rid of the heat of the night, half dries her hair and rolls it up in a bun, leaves as Leo goes for the bathroom, and when she finishes dressing up – battling with her definitely uncooperative eyeliner – her mother, Sophie, Toby and Leo are already waiting for her.

“’sup.” she says at the gathering.  

“You’ve been quicker than usual,” her mother says as she gets up from her seat, grabbing the key car while doing so.

Mattie rolls her eyes at that, casts a questioning look at Leo, and passes a hand around Toby’s shoulders as they leave for the day. Mia hugs them goodbye, assuring them that Fred and her are perfectly capable of monitoring the code reconstruction for a few hours.

Mattie doesn’t mind. She’s had her fair share of computing for a while now, and getting out, into the lights of Statford Center, feels more than welcome.

Sophie tries once more to get Leo to play with her, and it turns out that, since he can’t make the promise he’ll have time, he agrees to go with her to pick up her toy. Toby and Mattie exchange an incredulous look, which Leo seems to pick up. He rolls his eyes and hunches his shoulders, making a statement of his discomfort, or maybe annoyance.

Toby, Sophie and Leo are on the back seat while Mattie plays the co-pilot.

“Why do you want to go shopping, anyway?” She asks.

“Leo’s family is going to need supplies when they leave.” Laura says. “I’ve talked with Mia. We’ll do the shopping. Also, you need a couple of new jeans, yours are ripped between your legs.”

“Mum.” she whispers, blushing. “No one needs to know.”

Laura glances at her, then at the gloomy form of Leo in the mirror. She smiles, and Mattie is not sure she likes it.

“Sorry, honey. But you know what I mean. It’s the same with your brother, he needs some… things.” She winks. Mattie guesses they’re talking about boxers or something. “And Soph’ wants a toy.”

“Yay!” The little one says.

“Wonderful.” Mattie replies.

It turns out her mother has a very precise idea of what the Elsters need in order to go unnoticed – to look like humans. Mattie doesn’t really want to think of the main reason they’re doing all this. They’re going to leave. She doesn’t want to think about it.

Her mother is going to buy a few tons of coloured contact lenses and leaves with Sophie. Mattie, Leo and Toby are going to buy clothes. “Fashionable clothes,” her mother had specified, while eyeing Leo’s figure up and down. “They’ll bring less attention to them if they don’t look – I mean, if they’re dressed properly.”

Mattie’s pretty sure Leo’s not appreciated the comment. He remains even more silent, definitely more than uncomfortable in such a public space, eyeing every possible person with a defiant look, his walk dodgy, a permanent hand resting on his side, to calm the pain of his open wound, perhaps. She almost pities him.

“Not suspicious at all,” she tells him after he’s glanced behind him for the fifth time in only two minutes. He stops immediately.

It is strange to walk with him there, surrounded by all of those people, in a context that isn’t that much mingled with escapism and underground meetings, computers and relentless coding. She can feel the tension between them, the unspoken situation they’ve put themselves in, this context that makes the presence of the other unreachable. It hangs between them, and Mattie focuses on the simple banter between her brother and she as they scan the shelves of H&M.

They split; the boys are going to find proper clothes in the man department while Mattie is left with her fashion skills to roam the shop for clothing that might, perhaps, mimic Mia and Niska’s style. She picks up a few shirts and blouses, four pairs of trousers and two pairs of skinny jeans for herself – oh, and that t-shirt, she likes it, she can afford it, she’s taking it too.

When they leave the shop, their mother is already waiting for them, and she has two bags in her hands that hint the presence of maybe something else than just coloured contacts.

“It’s so they can dye their hair, if need be.” she says.

“Yeah.” Leo mumbles, hands in his pocket. “We’re… we’re going to need that.”

Mattie doesn’t ask. They’re on the run. There are probably a few thousand of people who know what they look like. Niska’s blonde hair is pretty much recognisable.

“Are you guys hungry? We could go to McDonald’s.”

“Yay!” Sophie says, and she’s the one to guide them there, as if she’s already roamed the entire shopping centre a thousand times. Maybe she has. Mattie’s always believed her baby sister was a tiny bit too spoiled.

Her mother doesn’t leave Leo alone though, even if it is probably all that he wants. She asks him about his age – 20, much younger than what Mattie thought, which makes the whole situation a lot less worrying that she first thought -, if he’s been to school, oh then, who taught him to read? Niska and Mia, sometimes Fred. She asks him if he’s good at sports - not necessarily - and if he’s had to learn how to use computers or if it was something he was born with – and she adds the last option with a subtle wink that makes Leo smile.

Her questions are well chosen, diplomatic and, in the end, not that invasive. She asks if their house was nice, and how big it was, and Sophie asks if they ever played hide and seek, or sock sliding.

“Oh, at least once a day,” he answers. “Even when I was all grown up. There wasn’t much to do.”

“Sounds like a really nice place.” Toby says in between mouthfuls of his cheeseburger.

“Yeah.” Leo smiles, eyes lost in some distant memory. “Yeah, it was.”

Mattie tries not to look at him, not to look interested, even though she’s grasping at every bit of information in order to bring more details to his character. She keeps her eyes focused on her food, pretends to scroll down Facebook. Playing the teenager. It feels safe.

“Mattie and I used to play sliding socks.” Toby says. Mattie glares at him. “She always lost.”

“Fred always won, and Niska was very close.” Leo says. “We had that – that huge hallway, and the… the ground was made of this beautiful, polished wood, I think it was mahogany, and we even had a tournament. The scores remained the same for years.”

Mattie wonders if it is really that impossible for them to go back there, but she won’t ask. Sophie does, instead. Sophie is only a little girl, she can ask without really thinking of the consequences.

“It’s burned. There’s only ashes left.” Leo says. No one asks more about the subject.

They finish eating with Sophie doing most of the conversation, and Laura goes with Toby to buy the things he needs. Leo asks what it is, Mattie replies “underwear” and Sophie giggles. Even Leo can’t help but smile.

“Might need some myself.”

Now Mattie’s blushing and grabbing the hand of her little sister maybe with a bit too much strength as they go to the toys shop. Sophie won’t stop giggling about underwear and Mattie has to make her shut up with the distraction of “Oh my God, Sophie, look at all the Frozen dolls!” and the girl practically runs to the exposition, bumping into a Synth while doing so and letting out a worried “So sorry miss!” and the Synth replies “There is no need to apologise”.

It is hard, from then, to take her away from the hundred Anna dolls back to the Barbie franchise rayon, but Sophie is cooperative and spends way too much time analysing every possible brown-haired Ken in order to find the perfect match for Leo. When she settles her choice on the lumberjack Ken, Mattie can’t help but laugh, maybe a bit too hard, and Sophie keeps asking why she’s laughing. Mattie cannot think of a single explanation for this private joke she shares with Leo.

He’s also taken aback at such a sudden choice, but he shares an amused look with Mattie.

Sophie feels like she’s done the wrong choice and won’t stop justifying it. “It’s because of the shirt.”

“We know, Soph’. Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s just –“ Leo starts, before stopping, asking with a look if it is safe to share this information with Sophie. “The first time we met, she told me she would be a lumberjack. You know, so she could escape if she didn’t want to talk to me.”

“Well, let’s just pretend that’s how it actually went.” Mattie hisses.

“I already apologised.” Leo whispers.

“Oh!” Sophie exclaims. “That was on your first date, right?”

“No!” They both say with maybe a bit too much vigour.

“You’re not dating?”

“No, we’re not!” Mattie replies.

“But I thought – Toby said – “

“Oh my God, Sophie, just take the toy!”

She leads her baby sister to the cash register, ignores the Synth’s polite non-conversation and gets them out of there. She has to stop blushing. Toby said what? What did he know, what did he think he knew, where the hell did he thought he had the right to make assumptions? To share them with such a guileless kid?

Sophie’s attention is already back on the toy, and as they walk in order to get to the meeting place, Leo quickly walks by her side, asking:

“Hey, you okay?”

“’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Yes,” she hisses, and speeds her pace in order to get by the bench where her mother and Toby, the traitor, already wait for them.

Her mother also giggles at the presentation of the lumberjack doll and teases Leo, asking him if he wants them to stop by a shop so he can get the same shirt. He’s polite enough to smile, but Mattie notices the worried looks he keeps casting on her. She ignores it, and doesn’t open her mouth all the way back home.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! So, it's the end, and also, I forgot to mention it in the notes of the first chapter, but warning, ep 8 spoilers ahead.  
> Thank you so much for all of your lovely comments and kudos <3 Also kudos to me because it's the first time in YEARS I actually finish something. And it's in english this time, oh my god.

All the things they’ve brought back home bring a blissful distraction for everyone. Mia compliments Mattie’s choice and pretends with Sophie that they’re on a fashion show, showing up with all the new outfits from the guest bathroom, brown contact lenses and even a red-haired wig. They all laugh a lot, her parents drink wine and smile at the sudden animation that’s taken place in their home. Leo tries to remain focused on his computer but Fred won’t let him, sending him away every time he tries to lean behind him in order to check on things.

“Everything’s going fine.” Fred says. “Just… go and try on your new clothes or something.”

Leo keeps it personal, though, and only checks with Mia on the final result privately before daring to come back in the living room where Laura welcomes him with an appreciative whistle.

“Now there’s a charming young man.”

“Mum, you’re embarrassing yourself.” Mattie whispers by her ear as she grabs a packet of biscuits on the table.

Laura winks, and she suddenly wants to disappear. She doesn’t look at Leo’s new clothes more than is necessary, she only notices that he’s listened to her mother’s advice and chosen trousers that fit and a perfectly nice blue sweater. Well, good for him. She doesn’t notice at all the way it seems to make his blue eyes stand out, nor how it shows off some of the muscles she’s somehow become personally acquainted with.

And this is absolutely not the reason she takes such good care of him, and him only. That night, her moves areslow and torturing, and she isexceptionally thrilled at the way his response seems more enthusiast than ever before as she feels him surrender entirely to the power of her hand.

 

* * *

 

 

Fred sits on the chair the morning after and Niska’s recovery is accompanied by the care of Laura and Mattie’s expert hands. Leo’s told them that Niska’s hair is way too recognisable and that she will need to dye it, and maybe chose another colour of contact lenses. Niska disagrees at first, but something in the way Leo looks at her next makes her change her mind and she lets Laura dye her hair while Mattie watches DIY youtube tutorials on how to cut hair at home. She can feel Leo’s attention on the video too, and the pressure starts to grow as the thirty minutes of application of the product come to an end. Niska’s taken to the bathroom, the extension cable following her, and returns with wet brown hair. She looks like a completely different person.

“This is so weird.” Leo whispers, and Mattie nods her approval.

She notices a cut on her neck as she parts the hair on the sides in equal parts and asks for a skin patch in order to heal it. Niska doesn’t talk, and Mattie has to shift aside as Leo applies the tiny piece of synthetic skin on the wound.

He looks quite worried as he goes back to his reclaimed place in front of the computer, and Mattie makes a note of thinking about it later.

Cutting hair is less difficult than she first thought. She gets rid of the scaling and goes for a somewhat clumsy square haircut and thicker bangs. The result is not that catastrophic, and even Niska smiles at her reflection in the mirror, even though it doesn’t really reaches her eyes. She exchanges a look with Leo at some point but lowers her gaze, as if this whole process charges her with guilt. There is something rotten going on there, and Mattie wonders if she’ll ever know, if anyone else has noticed it. But her mother has already dived into paperwork and only smiles in order to show her approval when she looks at the final result.

“Well then.” Leo says when the job is done. “Looks like we’re almost set to leave.”

Mattie freezes, broom in her hands, gathering all the fallen hair in a single pile.

“Fred’s not done yet,” she says, maybe too quickly. “And you still have to plug in.”

“Therefore, we’re only staying a couple of nights more.” Mia says, her voice soft, as is she’s trying to reassure her.  

“You are more than welcome here.” Laura says, looking up from her papers, brows furrowed. “You should wait to find where to stay next, where you’ll –“

“And that’s what we’ll be looking at from now on.” Leo cuts her. “We cannot stay indefinitely. It is too dangerous. We really appreciate your offer – “

“But you cannot take us in indefinitely, Laura.” Mia finishes. “You have a life to live, Mattie has to go back to school, and we’re quite a handful to take care of.”

“It’s not like you lot eat that much.” Joe says, but Mattie can feel that he’s already convinced by their arguments. Jerk.

Mia smiles. “It’s true. But we cannot ask you that much. We’ll be leaving as soon as Max is – fully operational.”

Mattie doesn’t stay in the room, she doesn’t want to see them convince their mother their leaving is for the greater good. She cleans up the mess and goes back to her room, takes a cigarette from her stash and climbs up her window in order to hide on the roof.

She’s almost finished it when Leo climbs next to her and brings his own cigarette to his mouth. He’s found her stash – of course he has. She’s not even that surprised.

“You’re not monitoring Fred’s turn?” She asks, eyes set on the view she has of the road.

“Mia’s taking care of it.”

She doesn’t reply.

“Mattie –“ he starts. “Mattie, you knew this was coming.”

“Yeah.” She exhales a long cloud of smoke.

“Then –“

“Just - shut up,” she says, and he does. “Let me be a moody teenager if I want to. That’s what I do best.”

“No, it’s not,” he whispers.

She can feel him close. She closes her eyes, finds the courage to look back at him. They hang there for a time, close enough to kiss. Her eyes go back and forth from his startling blue eyes to his pretty lips. She smiles, tucks her head against his neck, turns her attention back to the road. He sighs, takes a drag off his cigarette. Coughs.

Mattie laughs. “Looks like I’ve got to teach you all about life.”

Leo chuckles. “You’ve already started.” He sounds so terribly shy.

Some kind of warm feeling is starting to find its way into her chest. Damn it.

 

* * *

 

 

She believes it might be their last night together. They spend whatever time they have left in the cocoon of darkness touching, bringing each other to the verge of explosion only to retreat in the last moment, chuckling and whispering, talking, laughing, sharing some tired thoughts that should only belong to the late – or early, depending on the point of view – hours of the night.

They do not sleep at all. Instead, they wait for dawn, smoke all of Mattie’s cigarettes, they act silly, like the young people they are, avoid the subject of Synthetics and instead talk about Mattie’s adventures in the world of headcracking forums, laugh as silently as possible.

He leaves early, and she tries to go back to sleep, at least for a couple of hours. She cannot take the image of Leo, of his face, close enough that a single movement would have seen their lips pressed against each other, out of her mind. It might have been the best night they’ve spent together, but also the worse, and sleep doesn’t come. She gets up, washes her face and leaves for the kitchen, glancing at Leo’s bedroom door, still ajar. She smiles. She’s starting to believe it is an old habit he cannot get rid of.  

She goes downstairs as silently as possible. She can hear the Synths talking as she approaches the door quietly.

“… not good for him. It cannot go any longer. What will he do, then? Mope? You think he’ll be able to carry on the emotional baggage that comes with it? It’ll turn into bad memories. It’ll be worse.” Niska says, sounding quite pissed at the subject.

“He needs it,” Mia retorts, sounding far less pleasant than usual. “He’s been living with us most of his life, but he doesn’t know anything about living. He needs her, he needs to learn to live among humans. He needs to live things that are proper to his kind.”

“He is our kind! Not theirs! Do you really want to run around, fleeing from them all, carrying a heartbroken mess? It’ll put us all in danger. We cannot have any ties.”

“Shut up.” Mia’s voice is cold. “You don’t know what he needs. You’ve never known.”

“Oh!” Niska laughs. It is a hysteric, dangerous laugh. “I know more than you might believe. And believe me when I wish him all the best in the world despite what he believes might be good for me, the kind of shit that ‘good’ means to him– “

“What’s that?”

“Nothing.”

“Niska!”

The front door slams shut. Mattie remains frozen in the doorway, decides it might be best to join the kitchen through the corridor. She’s shaking at the hate Niska’s been showing in her voice, wonders at her story, at who she is, who she might be, what kind of dangers hangs over the Elsters, over the Hawkins. For the first time in days, she wonders at the good that might come out of their departure.

 

* * *

 

 

Leo plugs in early in the afternoon. Mattie is standing in front of the computer, eyes set on his, ignoring the looks her or his family might cast on her. She’s worried. All Synths have come out of their slumber in a weak, almost shaken state, as if, in scanning every single character of their code, they’ve had to face old demons better left alone. Not that they can forget, but they might try not to think of it too often.

Leo looks at Mia one last time, before turning his eyes to Mattie and smiling reassuringly. She tries to smile back. Whatever weakness has emerged from their slumber only affected their charging system, and she has no idea what it would be like for Leo. His human condition might take the blow in a less appealing way. She forces herself to turn her attention back to the computer and starts the program. And there it goes, the 29 hours of waiting before it all ends and the sweet complications leave their lives once and for all.

They all lose interest in the process very soon. Mia goes back torummaging through their library, Fred is already in energy saving mode, and Niska still hasn’t returned. Mattie’s own family is either at work or at school, and for a second, she wonders at the mountain of homework she will have to catch up on when she goes back to her usual life.

She falls asleep on the table, wakes up when her brother and sister come back from school. She smiles tiredly.

“Everything alright?” Toby asks, leaning behind her, looking at the interactive code rewriting itself.

“Yeah.” She says. “We’ve been doing a great job.”

“Cool.” He looks at her. “You should sleep. You look awful.”

“Well, thank you,” she replies sarcastically. “I swear, I’m fine.”

“Want something to eat?”

She nods, attention already back on the screen. If she pays enough attention to the lines, she actually finds some sort of sense in it. There, for example, she finds the description of a memory, the tortuous description of Max rising his hand, and the presence of Leo in the background, from which the memory is taken, calculating the point of view Max should have of the moment. She smiles. She’s looking at the story of a life, the mystery of a soul, of senses and feelings unfolding before her very eyes. She is blessed. Truly blessed.

 

* * *

 

 

She wakes up every twenty, thirty minutes, scared her inattention has brought on the loss of Leo. But every time she goes back to consciousness, he’s alright. He’s sitting up straight, eyes closed but agitated, a hand twitching of its own accord. He is beautiful, she realises. The screen illuminates part of his face and casts the shadows of his eyelashes on his cheeks. Night has set its influence on the household, and she craves his touch, his voice, just like every night before. She reaches for a hand, holds it, feels his agitated nerves resonating from the very core of his being down to the extremities of his skeleton. He’s such a strange, wonderful miracle.

 

* * *

 

 

Around five am, he collapses on the ground. In less than a second, she’s screaming for help and sobbing out of fear, searching for his pulse, thinking of something she might be able to do to save him, but the only ideas that cross her mind are reboots, entries to correct a fatal error, all things useless. She’s not fit to deal with humans. Soon, her father’s holding her against him and trying to calm her as she fights for her breath. Mia and Fred are already surrounding him, babbling about some technical nonsense, but she understands that he’s escaped the slumber, so he’s conscious, and awake, and probably on the literal verge of death.

 

* * *

 

 

They’ve saved him, she learns about it later. He’s escaped the sinuous program in order to prevent Max from coding Leo’s memories of his death. It would have killed Max. He doesn’t plug in to the software; he’s already transmitted all the information that could have been useful. He’s human, and there are things he is unable to share that his siblings had to. He needs to charge and sleep, so he’s left upstairs, surrounded by the Synths, in order to recover. Toby’s full of intentions, brings her hot cocoa, and so is her mother, making sure she’s okay, wanting to talk about it, telling her it’s over, that he’ll be fine in the morning. She’s ashamed at her reaction, but Laura tells her she’s done everything right, and that her scream allowed everyone to react in time to save the situation.

She sleeps like a baby, recovering from their last night, and it is almost time for supper when she gets down and is welcomed by everyone’s warm smiles. Even Niska’s.

“Hey,” she says, feeling suddenly terribly shy. “What’s for dinner?”

“Potatoes,” her mother says, putting an end to the awkwardness.

Leo gets down an hour later, in the middle of supper, but he’s welcomed just the same way Mattie was before, and a companionable silence accompanies the end of the dinner.

“So,” Mattie cannot help but ask. “You’re just going to leave, then?”

Leo looks at her, seems to think better of it and avoids her glance. Something cold coils in her stomach.

“We still have to check on Max, see if everything’s going according to plan,” Mia says with a sweet smile. “I believe it has, so we should hope for the best.”

“What will you do? Run again?” Laura asks, apparently as disturbed as her daughter by their departure.

“That’s the only thing we can do.”

“What happens when you break down? You can’t last forever. And he – “ Laura points at Leo with her fork. “He’ll die.”

“Everybody dies.” Niska retorts.

“But no one will ever know you existed.”

There is a long pause, from which Leo lifts his eyes from his plate, looks at Mattie’s mother, seeming defiant.

“You will.” Mia says, and he glances at Mattie who tries to hold his gaze as best as she can. “We don’t have genes to pass on, a species to continue, the… biological imperative – “

“Maybe we do.” Niska cuts her.

There, she can feel them again, those unspoken, heavy secrets hanging between everyone, even amongst them Elsters. There seems to be a confusion as Mia looks back and forth from Niska to Leo.

“Dad did something in our heads and it needs all of us to make it work.” Leo says. His voice is harsh, low, as if he’s speaking for the first time in ages.

“What is it? Leo!”

The air is suddenly filled with tension as everyone’s attention turns to Leo.

“I believe it’s a way to give consciousness to other Synths.”

He keeps eating, his defiance suddenly turning into insolence, as if daring anyone, Laura, Joe, or Mattie, to speak against their ‘biological imperative’.

Her mother doesn’t find a better way to handle her confusion than taking everyone’s unfinished plate from the table.

 

* * *

 

 

She doesn’t sleep, she doesn’t even try. She rummages around her room, cleans up, puts all the clothes she’s forgotten to take care of this last week in the laundry basket, organises her desk, passes nervous hands in her hair a thousand times, tries to come up with a solution, something, anythingthat would prevent the bomb the synths have discharged on her parents from letting them make the wrong choice.

Max has to go on a full 13 hours charge before they risk turning him on. He’s been kept on a low charge as his siblings were plugging themselves to Leo’s software and they cannot risk it. Cautiousness is the price they have to pay for their wish to leave. Her mother’s right. There is no point for them being alive. They have no place in this world; no one would ever accept their presence, not after her parents’ reaction. This has all been pointless.

Someone knocks on the door. “Go away.” she says, not wanting to deal with him yet. The door opens anyway, and Leo stands there, silent.

“You should all just leave now,” she says, her tone acid and barely looking in his direction. “You’ve all probably freaked out anyway and it better happen sooner than later, and –“

“Listen, I-“ he starts, but Mattie’s way too upset to let him talk.

“That’s why it all worked, right? I mean, yes, the idea was simple, and I couldn’t believe it worked at first, but then I thought, ‘oh, Mattie, he knows so much more, he’s better than you at this, he probably knows what he’s doing, even if it’s weird that the software is working with such little variables, but that’s because he’s good at it!’. But no. I was right! It should have not worked at all! You should have told me! You’ve used Max’s thing in – in his head, imported it on the root of the software, and you’ve added everyone’s thing to the process!”

“That’s – “

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have found a way to tell them, but you’ve all – how do you think it all looks to my parents, to see you all divided in mysteries, keeping things from each other, but also from us?”

“I didn’t because I thought – “

“What? That I would divulge it? Leak the information on the web? Why didn’t you trust me?”

“I was afraid you would react like them!” He blurts, walking towards her, grabbing her arms in order to keep her in place. “I was afraid you would reject me, that you would be afraid of the possibility –“

“Why would I?” She exclaims, refraining from laughing in surprise. “You guys are a miracle, the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, and you represent the incarnation of humanity itself, the extent of our capacities, of human intelligence! You are the answer to every fucking cosmic mystery, and you think that your wish to extend your magnificence would scare me?”

She stares at him, incredulous, at the way that his gaze seems to engulf her entirely in the adoration escaping from his eyes. She can barely breathe, and even less when his hands cup her face and bring it towards his. They kiss, harsh and desperate, clumsily as they don’t know the other’s rate yet; Leo is frantic where Mattie is avid, desirous of more, and she holds his hand against her face, or maybe holds onto his arm from fear of collapsing. The other goes for the hem of his shirt, brings it up in a try to gain access to more skin, more touching, more heat.

Their first kiss is nothing like what she’s imagined, it is more and it is less, butnever enough, and they fall on the bed in arush to get to the other’s intimacy. She wants him here and there, as the ultimate proof of her devotion to him, to his being and all of the metaphors his own life could ever represent. They make love in a silence made of breaths and exhales, for their coming together doesn’t need the urge of violins or fireworks; it only signs the beginning of something right.

 

* * *

 

 

“That was my first time.” Leo says, head resting on Mattie’s chest, probably listening to her heartbeat or something cheesy like that.

It turns out Leo Elster is quite the romantic type of guy, despite what appearances would make you believe.

“I know,” she replies, fingers playing with the curls of his hair.

“Thank you.”

She laughs. “That wasn’t necessarily a compliment.”

“I know.” She’s pretty sure he’s smirking. “But – thank you. For giving me all of this.”

“Jesus, Leo, if you start insinuating we’ve done all of this because I pitied you or something, I swear I’ll kick you out of this room naked in no time.”

“Did you?”

“Maybe a little,” she says. He doesn’t reply. “Leo, I’m joking.”

“…”

“I’m joking!”

“I know.”

She pulls a curl. He barely winces.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“How does it feel?”

“What? Sex?”

“No.” She laughs. “I know what sex feels like. I meant what you did, yesterday. Rewriting a whole, conscious person.”

“Oh.”

“Are you guys, like, aware during this whole process? Or – “

“Yes.”

“What does it feel like?”

He doesn’t answer right away, trying to come up with the most accurate phrasing. It is, in the end, quite simple - and, of course, unfathomable.

“Feels like death.”

She blinks, turns her head towards him, feels his breath on her face, grabs a hand and intertwines their fingers.

“That’s why I woke up. I couldn’t bear it. I knew what it would do to Maxie. I had to escape. T’was kind of a shock, to live it again, and feeling it, this whole, big, dark – nothing.”

She kisses his knuckles, worries she’s brought him again to a dark, digitally memorised place. He smiles though, and leans in for a kiss.

And -- they’re back for a whole new round of lovemaking.

 

* * *

 

 

They’re still talking when the first birds start their melodious tweet, and the idea that, maybe, they should have slept at least for a couple of hours that night is overshadowed by the impending coming of their separation. They haven’t talked about it, not because they try to avoid the subject, but because there is nothing to say. They have no solution, no propositions, no idea how things could turn out, for the bad or for the good.

He doesn’t want to leave, she can feel it in the way he deepens these kisses they try to pretend each time is their last. He does, in the end, only with Mattie’s help as she half-heartedly kicks him out of bed.

“Go on, you idiot. Gotta take your last shower for the rest of the month.”

“Shut up.” He chuckles.

Her bedroom is adjacent to the bathroom and she can hear the water of the shower run. She sits on the bed, passes a tired hand in her hair, a bitter smile on her lips. Then –

“Fuck it.”

She’s up and knocking on the door of the bathroom in only a matter of seconds. She hears Leo stopping the water and he’s opening the door. Mattie barely glances a his wet chest, goes straight for his mouth and kisses him as if her life depends on him, pushing him back inside the room and locking the door behind her, licking and tasting and touching. She’s soaked in no time but she doesn’t care, she lets herself be undressed, raises her arms so he can free her of her shirt. His hands travel up her belly, skim over her breasts, lightly, as if he’s afraid of hurting her, or if he still doesn’t really believe the wonders she’s offering him are really there, are really his to claim. She gets rid of her panties and guides him to the shower, unravels the towel from his waist and here they go again, their moans hidden by the blissed rumbling of the shower until all other senses but bliss are proven useless.

 

* * *

 

 

She does her best not to cry as they’re taken away by the police, but Leo’s screams of agony won’t stop ringing in her ears. She manages not to sob but she cannot help the tears that fall from her cheeks as the armed men finally withdraw from their living room. She doesn’t understand, she’s shaking, Sophia is wailing, unable to understand the reason a gun’s been pointed at her. Laura hugs them both in a single embrace with all of her strength, and they are soon joined by a distressed Toby.

It takes them all a great deal of courage to find their composure back in order to face the policeman that’s joined them in order to explain the situation.

Mattie wants to spit on his face and she’s only refrained from this primary urge by the feeling that prudence is what will get them through it.

It looks like the display of violence at her family and those, despite what she’s been shown on TV, she’s grown fond of, has made up her mother’s mind. She states her family’s rights require explanation. She’s given close to none, they take every piece of evidence they can find away from them – her computer, Leo’s, the iPad. Mattie cannot believe all of this is happening. She’s gained a certain form of composure as she watches this otherworldly scene unravel before her.

It is strange, in the end, to see what indignation can bring out in some people. Her father seems to have fully joined the Synth’s cause as he argues on the best way they could get the Elsters away from their actual misery. In the end, it is Mattie and her mother that save the day.

She’s not even that afraid for herself as she hides in a coffee shop with her brother and this dodgy cop that’s showed up out of nowhere. He apparently holds a grudge against Hobb. At this point, the entire world probably does.

Leo’s computer is as clinically clean, professional and impersonal as possible. On other occasions, she would have checked his Internet history and laughed at the discoveries later, but from the global image she gets of what is known, nowadays, to be the most personal and interactive tool a person of her age can have, is that she would probably find nothing there. There are no personal files, no pictures, not even of stupid cats, no silly games, no desktop background besides the one that probably came with the initial set up. She doesn’t like it, so she downloads a quote from her favourite author and loads it as his desktop background.  He’ll thank her later – probably. She hopes he will. She hopes they’ll have time to – whatever. Something, she hopes for something.

 

* * *

 

_So be wise, because the world needs more wisdom. And if you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise and then just behave like they would._

 

 

* * *

 

 

She’s in awe – life, as it is, this inexplicable, baffling thing that was so common throughout history, is translated into calculations and living code before her very eyes, and she doesn’t know exactly which way to look; at Leo, standing before her, as if asking for support, at this wonderful, literal circle of life all Elsters were forming, at the life unfolding on a modest computer screen. No one dares to breathe, everyone is hanging for a single sign of success. This is a religious moment in a religious place, and Mattie realises that she suddenly believes in God, and she knows his name. David Elster.

It is nice to know that God has flaws.

Her heart stops when she suddenly sees what had looked more than promising starting the process of crushing into nothingness. She tells the others, and for a moment, they all stare at the Synths, worried, only to breathe again when, a couple of minutes later, the lines come back to life, and its constant rewriting mimics the shape of a tree.

She wonders for a moment where they are, if they’re somehow linked through some kind of collective hallucination. But then, they’re all gasping for air, and she immediately reaches for Leo. He’s swaying a little but manages to twist towards her, and he’s smiling – it is the same smile she’s only seen on a single occasion, that last night they’d spent together. She wants to kiss him, but the adrenaline of their triumph doesn’t elude their families’ presence, so she cups his cheeks and tightens her hold on them, grinning like a mad person.

“All because of you.” He whispers, just for her, and with that, they’re hugging, and hugging everyone just because they all haven’t been that happy in a long time.

It all feels like giving birth, or something.

 

* * *

 

 

Of course, as soon as the joy of the aftermath is gone, the complexity of their situation strikes them with all of its implications. Separation, amongst other things, but also Fred, or getting back on the run. Mattie knows it is impossible, but the Synths look tired, as if going back to their old ways after knowing the comfort of a homely place and the bonds of friendship has ruined their previous tolerance for extreme conditions.

The Hawkins and Leo are eating silently; Mattie sits cross-legged by her friend, doesn’t lift her eyes up from her Prêt-À-Manger sandwich she’s bought an hour ago. Going out was scary and upsetting; she had been given a few hundred of We Are People tracks and had angrily stuffed them in her backpack in order to remain anonymous in the protesting crowd. She knew Leo had done his best to remain impassive when he caught a glimpse of the yellowish papers when she’d held out his own sandwich. He – they deserved so much more than that. So much more.

“We gotta talk.” He whispers at some point.

She nods. Mia and Laura are telling Sophie a very animated and funny bedtime story that everyone is more or less listening to. It is late. Karen has left; Leo mourns her departure silently, his posture even more hunched than usual. He must be so worried, thinking of a plan to save Fred, of their next move. Fred. She had felt so betrayed when Toby had pointed out his sordid behaviour, despite his somewhat twisted innocence being proven in a couple of minutes. He had been told to wait for Max’s awakening in order to get the code out of them. Hobb had known where they were the whole time. Mattie doesn’t like to think about it.

They all wrap themselves in sleeping bags or covers. The two of them stay awake, wait for an hour or two before getting into the depths of the crypt, where they believe no one will be able to hear them.

“So, what did you want to tell me?” She asks as soon as Leo judges them safely hidden behind the shadow of a pillar.

He doesn’t answer, only kisses her, desperate and urgent, his body pressing against hers and his hands travelling wherever they can, up her arms, twisting in her hair, pulling her neck into a more solid embrace. He leaves her breathless as soon as he parts from her lips, and she’s left swaying a little, smiling like an idiot as she tries to find her balance.

“O-okay. Nicely said.” She manages to sigh.

“That,” he whispers, “was the first thing.” He kisses her forehead, holds her against his chest and breathes into her hair. Mattie believes he’s trying to grasp as many details as possible for when – for later. “The second is – not that good.”

She wraps herself in his arms. “What is it?”

“Hobb, he’s…” he stops, holds her tighter. “He’s got my memories. He’s got it all saved into his computer, he’s – he’s seen you, Mattie. He’s seen us.”

Something cold is suddenly running through her veins. Disgust. Fear. Panic. She tries to focus on his body, on his reassuring, familiar, yet so foreign embrace, but it feels like trying to keep her head above the water when something’s pulling at her feet towards the depths of the sea.

“It’s okay.” She says. “It’s okay, it’s not that important, he –“

“Mattie.” Leo cuts her, voice serious, cupping her face between his hands and lowering his gaze so he can look at her, make sure he has her entire attention. “It’s not okay, he’s – he’s threatened you, he…”

“He hasn’t, it’s okay, I – I’ll just –“

“It is not okay, Mattie.” Laura’s voice is clear and hard, and despite not having spoken that loud, she makes them jump out of fear. “Leo– Leo, look at me. Tell me what he’s said.”

Leo doesn’t want to talk in front of Mattie, keeps casting worried glances in her direction as he speaks, and she has to reassure him, asks him to carry on, even if she doesn’t want to hear anything more. She doesn’t want to know, but she needs to.

The Elsters had been turned down before reaching the lab and, in Leo’s case, drugged. He’d woken up under Hobb’s scrutiny, and he had felt like throwing up as the man described what he’d seen, speaking of Leo’s feelings, exposing his deductions, showing off his introspective skills as he speculated on what she probably was for him, how much she mattered, what Mattie’s skin felt like, admitting his interest for a couple of details she doesn’t want to think of ever again.

She can almost hear the man speak, admitting she’s a nice girl, wondering what Leo thought would come out of these silly games, eh? Asking if he’d thought of the consequences, if David ever taught him anything, about having close to no relations, especially not a romantic one. How dangerous it might be for him, for them, for those he cares about. Has he ever thought of the leverage those who might ever find out about it would have on him? How he would probably give up and join those fighting against him, because Leo’s probably that noble?

“We have our own leverage.” Laura replies harshly. She’s trembling and holding her daughter against her. Maybe she thinks her single arms might be enough to protect her child from the cruelty of men. She’s pale, holding back her tears. Mattie holds onto her with the strength she’s got left. “He won’t do anything, he will never dare.”

“You’re wrong.” Leo’s voice is weak, tired. “Trust me, you – you’re wrong.” Mattie already noticed how easily he tends to give up when complications come along his way. She feels like doing so, too. But…

From the moment she first met him, he’s only ever done that, until she shows up with new ideas, new solutions and experiences, a different point of view, and he believes in himself again as he turns her words into concrete things. Until next time. He needs her, or at least, someone who has seen that, understood him and how his self-confidence works.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispers.

“Don’t.” Laura retorts.

“I can’t stay – mum, he’ll get to them, he –“

“Matilda, I’m sorry, but in this moment, I’m way more worried about your safety than theirs. They can manage on their own. Poorly, I’ll admit it, but they’re resourceful. You can’t, Mattie. You’re not even an adult yet.”

She glares at Leo. He looks down, embarrassed.

“I will not give up on you all, though.” She unwraps her arms from her daughter, plunges a hand into her pocket and starts composing a number on her phone.

“Laura, don’t, we’ll just – “ Leo starts, but he doesn’t know how difficult it is to make her mother change her mind when she’s in this state. It doesn’t happen very often, only when the well being of her children is endangered. Just like when she told Mattie’s teacher she had no proof her daughter had hacked that one Synth, only the things at stake now are way more dramatic than a simple exclusion from school.

“What?” She asks almost aggressively. “Run, that’s it? I’m sorry, young man, but I don’t see how this would keep my daughter safe. You’ll get caught. They’ll take my daughter away from me on her way back to school. And if they don’t, you both are reckless enough to happily run into the danger in order to save each other or something like that.”

Mattie’s not entirely sure Leo would actually risk everything to save her life. She knows she would, because Leo and his siblings are the only concrete, challenging thing that’s ever happened in her life. She believes in them, and she truly likes him. She would. She looks at him, embarrassed at her mother’s assumption that she, a simple teenager, would ever have enough importance for him to make him endanger his family for her. Something hits her down in her stomach when she notices the same boldness in his eyes, proving her wrong. Maybe. She doesn’t want to know.

“I understand.” He says. “But we cannot accept your help.”

“Why not? Because we’ll be in danger? I believe we can’t help it anymore, mmh? We already are. You don’t want us to get involved, but guess what, Leo, we already are. Now, I don’t care if you want it or not, but we’ll help you. I’ll help you.”

“We need to know more about my father’s code, we –“

“Does having a shelter really prevent you from doing it?” she asks. Leo doesn’t answer.

Laura presses the green icon and, with a couple of calls only, she’s saved them all. At least for now.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hello, mother.”

Mattie’s grandmother is small and unimpressive. She looks foreign. Mattie doesn’t even try for a smile – the old woman doesn’t either. She’s clutching her mother’s hand, tries to share with her the tiny grasp of courage she’s managed to hold secure in her chest for the last few days.

“Laura.” The old woman says before letting them all in. Leo enters last, checking behind him for anyone following them.

Max smiles on her way to the living room; she tries for a pale imitation, but it is hard to put her heart in it.

Her mother is already hissing at the old woman who’s replying in a harsh, far from motherly voice:

“It is my house. I have the right to know.”

“My house.” Laura retorts, anger distorting her face. She’s trembling all over, and Mattie reaches for her in a matter of seconds. “Let me remind you who paid for it – who took care of all of your debts. It is my house, and therefore, you don’t have to know anything.”

The grandmother is showing a hint of her teeth, as if she were a dog, ready to strike in the most hideous manner. Mattie stands tall, dares, with a single glance, the woman to try anything against her mother.

“I’ll make some tea.” Her grandmother says instead, and disappears in the kitchen.

Mattie helps her mother sit on the old fashioned sofa and looks up at Leo, smiles in return to his caring stare.

“I’m so sorry, Matts.” Laura breathes. “She’s – “

“It’s okay, mum.” Mattie replies. “I’ll be fine, I swear. I can handle her.”

“I’m not sure you can-”

“I will. Trust me.”

She smiles weakly. Mattie stands up, goes back to Leo and Max’s side. They’ve been standing by the hallway, looking at them and their surrounding. This house is impersonal and smells strange, like the windows are never opened. It is small and crumpled with empty shelves and dusty cupboards. No pictures, no decoration. Mattie hates it already.

“You okay?” Leo mouths. She nods, holds his hand. The woman comes back with a tray, puts it on the coffee table and takes a seat in front of her daughter.

“I will send you money every two weeks.” Laura says. “Part of it goes to Mattie. I’ll know if you keep it from her. If you do anything, I’ll know. If you treat her with something less than the respect and care she deserves, I’ll know.”

“You speak of me as if I were some kind of monster.” The grandmother replies.

“Well, you taught me to always tell the truth, didn’t you?”

Leo raises his eyebrows, Max’s smile disappears. Her grandmother’s shoulders stiffen, but it doesn’t look like she’s about to say anything.

“How much?” Is all she asks.

“Two thousand pounds a month.”  

“Can’t you be a bit more generous?”

Mattie eyes dart on the woman and she goes for her, but Leo’s hand holds her back in place.

“Only if you deserve it.” Laura replies.

Mattie understands that her mother’s already calculated most of the negotiations. She relaxes a bit, squeezes Leo’s hand.

The old woman remains quiet, as if taking into account her situation, what is owed and what will be, then finally turns an awfully hypocritical smile to her granddaughter.

“Let me show you your room.” She says in a mellow voice.

“She’ll find it herself.” Laura objects. “Mattie, go upstairs. Your room is at the end of the corridor. Leo, help her carry her bag. We’re leaving soon. Max, take a seat.”

Leo nods and grabs Mattie’s bag while Max obeys, pretending to be a Synth.

“You got a Synth, now?” She hears the old woman ask. “Well, looks like someone’s getting her fair share of money.”

“Yes, but he’ll only obey Mattie. Not you. I’m his primary user. If anything happens to my daughter, if he ever judges, according to my orders, that you’ve crossed a line, trust me, you’ll regret it.”

Leo chuckles as they arrive upstairs: “Your mother is kind of scary.”

“Sometimes.” They reach the end of the corridor and she opens what will be her new room for the next few months, maybe years, and sighs. She believes it is her old mother’s room, even though it is as, if not more, impersonal as the rest of the house. Grey and white and dusty. Leo wraps his arms around her belly from behind, tucks his head against her neck.

“This is going to be a nightmare.”

“Think of it as if it is a new beginning.”

“The beginning of the end.” She mutters dramatically, turning in his embrace in order to kiss his chin. He smiles, then puts his head overs hers and holds her tight against him.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispers.

“I’m not.” She replies. “I don’t regret what we have. I would never.”

“Me neither, but – “

“Stop.”

She steps away from the hug, puts her bag on the naked mattress. She sits on it, holds her head into her hands. Leo sits next to her.

“I won’t be far. Just a couple of hours from here.”

“For now.” She sighs. “My family is miles away. I’ll be worried sick every minute of everyday, waiting for everyone’s news, imagining the worse –“

“Then I’ll text you every minute of everyday.” He says softly.

She chuckles, looks up. She really hopes he doesn’t, though. He has so much so focus on. There’s a university professor that’s apparently worked with his father in Manchester. He’s going to ask for help. And when it is all solved, when everything’s over, when her mother and her new cabinet assistant also known as Mia are done working on legal foundations to prepare the ground for the coming out of conscious Synths, then maybe – no. She doesn’t know. Nobody knows.

“That was so lame.” She giggles.

He blushes. It is nice to see colour on his face. He’s shaven it this morning, and Mattie’s clumsily cut his hair at a reasonable length. “Thank god, no one will recognise him,” her mother had said. Mattie personally thinks he’s beautiful.

They kiss, slow and tender, wishing each other luck in the nicest of manners. Leo’s used to give up when difficulties hold him back, and it feels like nothing good might come of their relationship. It is more than prone to abandon. Mattie has no solution to offer him, she has nothing to put on the table in order to save it. It is nice, therefore, to know that Leo doesn’t feel like giving up on her yet.

 

Fin.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a black and white awfully edited fanart of the kiss :)


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